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First build the Infinity Bed, then comes The Nap.

Summon the Sandman and kick him in the nuts for doing such a shitty job. Tell him he knows why.

Just remember: avoid the my pillow which only goes with the duvet of alternate truth and the loss of memory mattress. Gravity may no longer work in the alternate universe you conjure, rendering your blanket useless!

You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug.

Don’t forgot your PJs of happiness

Definitely spoilers for the next Zelda game.

Even if 8 hours was achievable my neck would tell me I did it wrong

My girlfriend has one of them weighted blankets and I have to sleep with another blanket now because I found out the hard way anxiety reducing blankets give me mad anxiety attacks

Finally will all for bedcovers i will rule the world of my dreams

Those things are useless without the Bidet of Cleanliness.

It's the time pillow because it resets it's entropy when it's turned over and feels cooler.

I think she means the "bucket" of truth. To gaze into it is to be driven mad.

I have to add that in addition to weighted blanket and memory mattress, I have the silk pillowcase, eye mask, and CBD gummies and STILL don’t get a good night’s sleep 🤦🏽‍♀️

Gravity Bong

Wtf is a gravity blanket.... and y do I want one now.

Don’t forget the Bose sleep buds 2 of power.

Missing a couple ston- umm, objects I think

Harness the power of two extra strenght Benadryls.

Dormez-vous, Dormammu?

Time Pillow and Duvet of Truth

Now I just have to move my bed to the Dream Temple, and play the Song of Slumbers on my Ocarina, and there'll be an eight hour unskippable cutscene of me sleeping like I did before I had a 9-5 and a kid.

This feels like it should be on r/nightvale lol

Do NOT buy a MyPillow. That shit is fascist.

Jesse Case is one of my favorite comedians! Everyone, stop what you're doing and check out his work!

My buddy has one of those memory mattresses and when the power went out last week, he said it was like sleeping on a concrete sidewalk. 2/10 would not recommend

Summon a sleep paralysis demon

In the pursuit of sleep (speaking only for myself), I would much rather quest for the pillowcase of Science Fiction / Space Travel Fantasy.

I read this on my memory foam mattress under my gravity blanket. But I have the miracle pillow of bamboo already. And the duvet of truth will be no match for my elegant sleep comforter of down.

wasn’t this an adventure time episode?

I shall be the Lord of Slumber, the King of Rest, the Master of the Eternal Night (until about 7 AM when the sun rises where I live).

Me, a guy: "What even is a fuckin' duvet?"

Under cover of darkness

Have you ever slept on the drunken shoe of doom?

I also have a smart scale.

You’re forgetting the sheets of wisdom.

2007?

Lol I do not need a better pillow/bed I slept through all of my morning classes today

Remember, the White Guardian is not your friend.

Sorry, maybe I’m just dumb but..

Wtf is a duvet

Behold the mighty bed of space-time

Would that this hoodie were a time hoodie

the blanket and the bed do not synergize.

Finally, a popular, non-political, quality wpt post.

I think you mean the slumbering.

Were that this pillow were a time pillow...

Then the f*ckening

Highly dubious lack of the word "mythral" in any of these item titles.

The time pillow is little more than a sham!

[deleted]

I just plan on switching to a floor bed. It looks mismatched, but your stats go up a ton.

Thus a mighty quest began...

Summon Morpheus, the god of dreams

Amen. I havent had a decent nights sleep in weeks. Just enough to keep my bipolar stable.. im sooo tired

direct link to tweet: https://twitter.com/jessecase/status/1181087489659944961

The Sleepy Hollows. Whoever acquires all of them will be master of Dream.

https://teddit.wsb.onl/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/dexfn3/its_all_coming_together/

https://teddit.wsb.onl/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/ha144b/sleep_demon/

https://teddit.wsb.onl/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/f3tv87/unlimited_power/

The young ones usually mistake the gravity blanket for the electric one and end up summoning house fire instead of the one. This one has a bright future.

Sleep wizard

Einstein loved to nap. Right now he’s taking the ultimate nap.

This is why the my pillow guy is so crazy....

What if he misheard time pillow and it was really my pillow?

Damn. I just keep finding the sheets of solitude

The sleepy hollows!

I got some Essence of CBD and it kills all that

A MyPillow will bring you back in time about 60 years, more or less.

Finally we are back to whitepeopletwitter instead of politics

Homie going through a whole Minecraft crafting chain for a good night’s sleep

That man, Jesse Case, is a hilarious Nashville comedian with stage IV butt cancer!

Also get space blanket.

Assembling the Infinity Slumber ♾

What about the sheets of dreams?

What is this font, I absolutely love it

*preform

Pretty sure this was a Mario and Luigi game on the 3ds

No joke I bought a mullet pillow and that thing is like a time machine. Fall asleep within minutes and wake up 8 hours later not knowing how I got there.

Is this seriously what happened from 2019 forward - the craziest sojourn ever?

Damn this new Zelda game sounds dope

But then the Poorly Configured Cellphone Alarm of Wakefulness goes off at 3am and ruins everything.

Nice I've got a floor and a couch pillow. And whatever I can find to use as a blanket st the time.

After all that he’ll unlock the Cloak of Never Get Laid.

What time pillow and duvet of truth?

I have the time pillow.

R/2:02amthoughts

And never wake up. Steak dinners from here on out.

If he used the word “perform” it would sound much cooler.

Would that this pillow were a time pillow

Nice

This reminds me of the time in super mario dream team bros where you had to find the legendary bed pieces in order have luigi take such a deep nap that you visit the god of sleeping or something like that