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submitted 3 days ago byCaptTechno
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3 days ago
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2.1k points
3 days ago
"1996."
"All right lad, have a pint."
629 points
3 days ago
Every year
233 points
3 days ago
You talking about Hot Fuzz or the repost?
143 points
3 days ago
You know, a kid born February 22, 1996 couldn’t have had a pint when Hot Fuzz came out. Free knowledge for the day. [scoots walker offstage]
63 points
3 days ago
You know, a kid born February 22, 1996 couldn’t have had a pint when Hot Fuzz came out.
A kid born February 22, 1996 couldn't see Hot Fuzz when it came out.
39 points
3 days ago
Wanna know something crazy? A kid born February 22nd, 1996 couldn't have played the lead role in Hot Fuzz when Hot Fuzz came out.
21 points
3 days ago
Was really hoping he was gonna drop that line
46 points
3 days ago
As soon as she said “what year?”
I instinctively went, “every year” in a snobbish British accent.
13.9k points
3 days ago
This is the kind of thing I want to see. Obvious prank that gets rolled out so smoothly that everyone nearby is laughing. Perfect.
5.9k points
3 days ago
Aggressively yells THANK YOU! I'd have been dying.
1.5k points
3 days ago
Fank You!
339 points
3 days ago
The th-fronting is real! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th-fronting
219 points
3 days ago
You cheeky little thucker.
11 points
3 days ago
Almost
140 points
3 days ago
Just booked a hotel over the phone and asked if we initially booked for two nights could we extend for three? To which they replied well no you’d still have to pay for it...
63 points
3 days ago*
I remember being 5 or 6 and I was sitting taking a shit thinking about my day. Some grown up had told me I was saying 3 incorrectly and it puzzled me. So I sat on the crapper mumbling to myself trying to say 3 the way the grown up had and I had a eureka moment. So now I say 3 correctly and no one gets to take the piss of me regarding it any more. Plenty of other things sure, but not the way I say thanks, three or telephone etc.
Edit: Although now I work in London with some guy who happens to be from the same commuter town as me and he takes the piss out of me for saying other with a 'th' instead of a 'V' so...
Edit 2:I'm pretty sure there's only 1 correct way to say telephone and I'm just an idiot.
25 points
3 days ago
There is more than one way to say telephone?
45 points
3 days ago
Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! no! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I've got it right.)
Howe'er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I'd better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)
Eletelphony by Laura Richards: loved this poem, memorized it when I was about 6
38 points
3 days ago
You had me at labiodental fricatives
104 points
3 days ago
I met this guy from some place called worfing and he was making fun of how Koreans say sangyu rather than fankyu. I was really confused. Not sure what fankyu means, buddy, but sangyu is just Konglish for thank you, as in “sangyu very kamsa”. Then I realized he wasn’t from worfing, he was from Worthing.
12 points
3 days ago
Now fis worf and award
25 points
3 days ago
Nice
386 points
3 days ago
If they made a TV series out of nothing but doing this at different establishments, I’d watch every episode until Netflix inevitably cancels it at the height of its popularity
187 points
3 days ago
There was a show called trigger Happy tv where they would do pranks like this, or just set up weird situations.
It was the best. Giant phone guy is one of my favorites. But the guy in a dog suit chasing another guy in a cat suit going around a corner, immediately follow-up by the dog running back, being chased by cats with bats is also good.
95 points
3 days ago
17 points
3 days ago
"Nah, it's rubbish, complete rubbish!"
25 points
3 days ago
12 points
3 days ago
Still all I can think of if I hear that Nokia ringtone
HALLO?!?!?!
23 points
3 days ago
25 points
3 days ago
The guy feeding birds getting mobbed by a guy in a pigeon suit was classic.
As was the guy from Schmedderlandsch playing the song of his people (badly) then asking for a handout
7 points
3 days ago
I miss that show.
7 points
3 days ago*
Lol similar to your last one my favorite is when a guy is walking alone down an alley and a mob of like 30-50 people in mascot costumes come into view down the alley and all charge after him yelling lol
edit: found it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCrDgm_H678 lol
5 points
3 days ago
Mini Cab? Mini Cab? Mini Cab?
740 points
3 days ago
And to think, they didn't even do anything damaging or life threatening! What a concept.
233 points
3 days ago
Is it even a prank if there aren't a couple dead bodies afterwards?
113 points
3 days ago
Wait... no one had to yell "Its a prank!" before getting beat.
This is weird.
29 points
3 days ago
Hmm, now that you bring it up... Yeah, I'm not sure this was even a prank. I think those kids were committing a crime!
32 points
3 days ago
Hitting people with my car PRANK (gone sexual)
43 points
3 days ago
Like that guy who forced his pregnant wife to shoot him in the chest with a 45.. while attempting to block the bullet with a book? Epic prank. He got her so good she ended up in prison for 6 months..
56 points
3 days ago
I don’t think it was a prank, just a horribly miscalculated stunt. Also, it’s an unpopular opinion, but I don’t feel like she should have been sent to prison. She said she didn’t want to do it multiple times, and he kept convincing her that it would be fine. Now she has to live with the guilt that she killed her longtime boyfriend and their child’s dad. She suffered enough, to put prison on top of it was just a fuck you from the court.
36 points
3 days ago
In my opinion she didn’t deserve prison. It was his stupidity that got him killed.
6 points
3 days ago
Well, both of their stupidity but I agree there's little point to locking her up.
6 points
3 days ago
Unfortunately assisted suicide is criminal in the US as well.
8 points
3 days ago
[deleted]
12 points
3 days ago
If I remember correctly, he had convinced her it was safe by showing her a book he had shot with a lower caliber gun (i dont think he mentioned the fact that it was a different gun). So I think she just figured he knew what he was talking about.
13 points
3 days ago
Little did you know it was a failed attempt to get their liquor license revoked
6 points
3 days ago
I saw a jump cut at which I can only assume was him sneezing on innocent people
168 points
3 days ago
No no, a perfect prank is going into the hood and running after people with a knife. Just tell them it’s just a prank bro after they’ll be cool. Gone sexual.
48 points
3 days ago
If you really want to do a "hood" prank, do a faux satanic summoning or something. In my experience, "that voodoo shit" is a sure fire way to get people freaked out without (probably) getting shot.
15 points
3 days ago
Classic hood prank (N-word disclaimer, just in case you need it).
10 points
3 days ago
Oh, I've got a good one. Set up a picnic around a fake grave and have someone break out to join the picnic.
73 points
3 days ago
Fank you!!
30 points
3 days ago
From seeing this comment repeated so many times I'd think I'd see a lot more people dying or being mutilated from pranks on the news.
25 points
3 days ago
I mean you have seen the pranks of people licking ice cream.
It's just a prank though.
Or the punching people randomly prank.
Not everything needs to end in death and mutilation. But can just simply be fucked up.
12 points
3 days ago*
if i had a dollar for every time i saw this "wOw a pRaNk wiTh NOboDy gEttiNg HUrt" circle jerk i'd be able to buy 1 whole bitcoin
EDIT: 1.2 bitcoin
EDIT 2: 0.64 bitcoin
EDIT 3: 8 bitcoin
EDIT 4: 0.00005 bitcoin
3.4k points
3 days ago
"FANK YEW"
1.5k points
3 days ago
WAH AH YEW LAFFIN FOH, THATS ME DATE A BIRF
71 points
3 days ago
143 points
3 days ago
I don’t trust like that
37 points
3 days ago
Do you have any skittles?
12 points
3 days ago
The funniest line in that bit imo. Idk why, but it always kills me
6 points
3 days ago
I frequently quote this line.
1.5k points
3 days ago
Is he dating an anthropomorphic pink cat?
420 points
3 days ago
Vincent Adultman is three kids stacked on top of each other and I will die on this hill.
210 points
3 days ago
Come on man, you're just jealous. What has Vincent ever done to you?
155 points
3 days ago
You’re just jealous because he’s such a good listener
114 points
3 days ago
Don't be sad. Good horsey.
23 points
3 days ago
Huh. That actually feels kind of nice.
89 points
3 days ago
Vincent is an adult, and I'll bet he knows how to treat a lady.
He very clearly isn't and doesn't.
57 points
3 days ago
One of my favorite parts about the show — everyone is oblivious and BoJack is just so frustrated about it
40 points
3 days ago
But we never see the other two kids.
149 points
3 days ago
Best joke of the series
83 points
3 days ago*
I'm equal parts disappointed that Vincent Adultman just sort of...disappeared, but also relieved that they just quit doing it before they ran the joke to death and it wasn't funny anymore.
36 points
3 days ago
They never confirmed if he was actually 2 kids stacked on top of each other or if he was just some deformed adult and I’m gonna just go with the latter.
28 points
3 days ago
I mean, in one episode PC almost ran over Vincent (as a kid) and his mother
16 points
3 days ago
Or maybe that was just Vincent adultman’s kid???? Lol just kidding, it’s just funny as hell imagining that he really is just an adult and bojack’s wrong lmao
6 points
3 days ago
Well there’s that episode where Vincent and his kid are never in the same room...
34 points
3 days ago
Hands down
61 points
3 days ago
"God, could you imagine that body in a swimsuit?"
"I literally cannot."
223 points
3 days ago
Came here to say this! Vincent!
72 points
3 days ago
Or a tangled fog of pulsating yearning in the shape of a woman?
31 points
3 days ago
Clearly he left cus he had to do a business at the business factory.
20 points
3 days ago
Business-wise, this all seems like appropriate business.
7 points
3 days ago
Business-wise...this all seems like appropriate business.
642 points
3 days ago
[deleted]
222 points
3 days ago*
I was a business man... doing business
39 points
3 days ago
Definitely not 3 kids stacked in a trench coat!
13 points
3 days ago
That’s actually a popular fan theory at r/BojackHorseman. Like most fan theories, I don’t buy it.
89 points
3 days ago
Business-wise, this all seems like appropriate business.
24 points
3 days ago
One alcohol please!!!
18 points
3 days ago
Ee's 'ad an 'ard day.
3.9k points
3 days ago
I never in my life thought someone would ACTUALLY try this outside of a cartoon or the Little Rascals...
94 points
3 days ago
Try what? This is from a documentary about a man who's constantly denied service because of his medical condition known as baby face.
14 points
3 days ago
I love his records.
1.5k points
3 days ago
The intent here is still to make a gist. I doubt this kid expected anything but laughs, and tbf he got them bloody well right
453 points
3 days ago
Whoever is filming certainly set this all up
138 points
3 days ago
I just though BBC3 was just hidden cameras with no one, in any episode of anything that has ever aired, knowing that they are being filmed. Thankyou for this revelation, I need to rethink everything I have ever learned
43 points
3 days ago
Wait till you learn talk shows have a script and "accidental" jokes are not accidental
16 points
3 days ago
Don’t drop that bombshell on me now, I’m still recovering from my entire world being turned upside down
23 points
3 days ago
No I think there just happened to be a world class videographer and sound editor in the pub that day testing some new equipment out
10 points
3 days ago
lol, I don't know why this even needs to be pointed out. People here can't be that gullible, right?
14 points
3 days ago
Got a real sherlock here, I personally thought it was just two weasels trying to get a pint.
52 points
3 days ago
I think you're looking for the word "jest". Not sure if it was a typo or similar error, but in just in case you don't already know "gist" is a completely different word.
14 points
3 days ago
it took me until this comment to remember that gist is even an actual word
95 points
3 days ago
83 points
3 days ago
I’m not clicking that. I don’t trust like that.
20 points
3 days ago
Do you have any Skittles?
13 points
3 days ago
Harry's Car Place...I Don't Trust Like That
15 points
3 days ago
I knew exactly what this video was going to be.
8 points
3 days ago
20 points
3 days ago
I mean, they didn't ACTUALLY try it. It was an obvious bit.
576 points
3 days ago
What is this from? I need more!
580 points
3 days ago
Little Prankers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gq-GnQrq0PA&ab_channel=BBCThree
229 points
3 days ago
FANK YEW!
38 points
3 days ago
Good old fart jokes.
50 points
3 days ago
That little girl is a fantastic comedienne.
21 points
3 days ago
That bakery guy's face at the end lol
19 points
3 days ago
"Did I just sell a banana cake to that girl and she's going to fart every 5 seconds for the next hour and a half?" face.
18 points
3 days ago
They all are honestly it's amazing. The little boy showing his drawings has an incredible sense of wit.
49 points
3 days ago
First place I saw it was little rascals, but they were trying to get a loan
87 points
3 days ago
I LOVE that scene with Mel Brooks.
“If we were your kids, we’d punish ourselves!!”
14 points
3 days ago
Oh my gosh I forgot how much I love the Lil Rascals. Thank you for reminding me
16 points
3 days ago
I still say “Um.. 7!” anytime someone asks my phone number.
8 points
3 days ago
Try 8
4 points
3 days ago
Don't think I've watched that movie since it came out. It always just made me want to watch the original shorts.
1.1k points
3 days ago
Ah pubs, remember those? Pubs? Pints? Good times by all? I'm beginning to wonder if we will ever get them back.....
494 points
3 days ago
Let's go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint and wait for this all to blow over.
123 points
3 days ago
You've got red on you.
71 points
3 days ago
Sorry Phillip.
43 points
3 days ago
Can we please! CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
6 points
3 days ago
Can't stop me, can't stop me, can't stop me, hey hey!
6 points
3 days ago
Why? What have you done now?
40 points
3 days ago
Don’t forget to pick up mum on the way
13 points
3 days ago
I'll be in the shed playing Tekken
13 points
3 days ago
I'm pretty sure that was just a myth the Olds tell about the Before Times. There's no way that's a real place.
48 points
3 days ago*
Keep your spirits up lad. Russia's started vaccinations and we're down almost 3 times in terms of new cases, from 30 thousands a day to 11k a day. Food courts started opening up, bars are working, though they have to limit the capacity and can't work after 23 o'clock. Our Wold In Data shows that UK is doing almost 10k tests per day and you're down to like 200 cases per day.
It will be over soon, as more people are immune or vaccinated and the hospitals aren't stretched thin. I know it's cheesy, but carry on.
EDIT: Sorry everyone, I was being optimistic and didn't notice that the UK data was "per X people", like "per million". My bad. But I want the numbers to go there, I really do. Stay safe.
32 points
3 days ago
I've never heard anyone use 24 hour time with "o'clock." It just sounds funny for some reason. It also makes me want to see your fancy 24 hour Russian clock!
9 points
3 days ago
No hope for me. Reasonably healthy person in texas. I'm expected to work until I die. Then burn my body in the oil refinery for capitalism while paying for the privilege.
7 points
3 days ago
Soon my friend, soon
8 points
3 days ago
Aus here. Pubs are mostly fine here in Sydney. Hope you get back to normal soon!
343 points
3 days ago
Vincent Adultman
78 points
3 days ago
Yeah great cosplay but he forgot the broom hand
75 points
3 days ago
PC: Oh, can’t you just imagine him in a swimsuit?
Bojack: I literally cannot.
30 points
3 days ago
Needs a closeup on his ID saying Adultman, Vincent DOB 1996, or 1986, or 1906
13 points
3 days ago
DOB: 1906/86/96 July
44 points
3 days ago
From when Bojack was witty and ironic. As opposed to how it ended up: witty, ironic, and also made a whole lot of people feel a whole lot of flavors of sadness.
56 points
3 days ago
The sadness was always there . There was less swing back and forth in the end .
16 points
3 days ago
Yea it was always depressing. It wasn't even that hidden, but it can be lost if the viewer is pretty sheltered.
8 points
3 days ago
Yeah I agree. By the time it got to the Herb episode with his cancer I knew the show was going to be something different from a South Park or Family Guy like I'd gone in expecting.
55 points
3 days ago
"What year?"
"EVERY YEAR!"
11 points
3 days ago
No luck catching them swans, then?
9 points
3 days ago
Only one day off from Feb 22 too!
268 points
3 days ago*
Two kids in a trench coat walk into a bar trying to get served and the bartender doesnt notice or doesnt care and serves them a beer.
The bartender then makes his way to the other end of the bar where two regulars are having a heated debate. One regular says "my dick is so big my wife calls it 'knowledge' cause knowledge is power" and the other respond "oh yeah, well my dick is so big your wife calls it "the machine" cause it just dont stop"
And the bartender says "that's nothing, that weird guy who just walked in keeps giving his dick sips of his beer and calls it "kevin""
71 points
3 days ago
my dick is so big your wife calls it
Are we just supposed to skip over the part where the first guy's wife is cheating on him?
40 points
3 days ago
Are we just supposed to skip over the part where the first guy's wife is cheating on him?
No. It's just a "I fucked yer mum" type joke/insult.
Or maybe I got whooshed.
9 points
3 days ago
The really weird part is that Kevin's putting em away. No idea how he does it.
39 points
3 days ago
I'm going to buy a car today.
26 points
3 days ago
5 points
3 days ago
I was looking for this.
58 points
3 days ago
The accent makes is so much better. The “that’s me date of birth”
86 points
3 days ago
Now THIS is funny! Nice, clean, entertaining and I smiled all the way through with a hearty one at the "Thank you!". Good post!
41 points
3 days ago
This kid is quick on his feet. Love it.
34 points
3 days ago
I am no expert here but I really don’t think he was “on his feet”
14 points
3 days ago
That kid is adorable and witty. The super aggressive "FANK YEW!" at the end just seals the whole deal. Honestly, little fucker deserves a pint just for his comedic performance.
29 points
3 days ago
I don't trust like that
29 points
3 days ago
This kid is going places. This is the funniest shit I've seen. got some balls
"FANK YOUU" I'm dead
10 points
3 days ago
Hes going places. Not the bar, but places.
11 points
3 days ago
Funny thing is 1996 nowadays is definitely drinking age. And some mileage too.
18 points
3 days ago
My childhood fantasy torn down in seconds. I can't believe it didn't work...
127 points
3 days ago
reminds me of Vincent Adultman from Bojack Horseman
19 points
3 days ago
Did you not even see the title
12 points
3 days ago
16 points
3 days ago
I don't trust like that
13 points
3 days ago
When he said what year, the kid should have responded, every year. Smoothest line in Hot Fuzz
7 points
3 days ago
I lift ii ah ohm
6 points
3 days ago
If this happened in my city the manager would kick you out, call the police and then complain about it like it was some egregious act.
Nice to see the pub had a sense of humour about it.
6 points
3 days ago
Seen it a million times, have laughed at it a million times
6 points
3 days ago
Oh shit, it's Vincent Adultman! I hear he is a great listener.
6 points
3 days ago
Vincent Adultman: “would you like a alcohol?”
5 points
3 days ago
Vincent Adultman.
6 points
2 days ago
It's Vincent Adultman!
8 points
3 days ago
It's Vincent Adultman guys! I haven't seen him in so long!
4 points
3 days ago
Seven going on eighty.
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